Trans & Pregnant: A Letter To Our Son – ‘We Hope The World You Grow Up In Is A Place Of Inclusion, Community & Love’

By Emma Clifton, Capsule NZ.

When Frankie and Rāwā Karetai Wood-Bodley agreed to take part in the Documentary New Zealand project Trans & Pregnant, they hoped it would help other transgender people know that a family of their own was possible. The TVNZ documentary follows Frankie, a transgender man, going through a fertility journey to become pregnant and eventually giving birth to the couple’s child, Hiwa-i-te-Rangi. Here, Frankie and Rāwā (Waitaha, Kāti Mamoe, Kai Tahu, Ngāti Maniapoto) write a letter to Hiwa about their hopes for his future, and why the documentary is a love letter to him.

Welcome to our new column, A Letter To… In the coming months some of our most well-known Kiwis and everyday heroes will be penning letters about a topic close to their hearts. Some of their names you will know very well, while others will be kept anonymous to protect the privacy of the subjects. Whether it is a letter to a specific someone, or a group of people, or simply an open letter to broach a difficult subject, each will be very different, but all will share one common thread: they will all be written from the heart. You can read our other letters here.

Dear Hiwa-i-te-Rangi (Hiwa),

When we think about the world we want for you, we hope it is a place of inclusion, community, and love. Our journey to becoming your parents was deliberate, filled with determination and a deep desire to build a family together. 

We both longed for a child, but for a while we weren’t sure it would be possible. Then, you came into our lives – a dream come true. 

You are growing up in a world that is beautifully diverse and rich with heritage. You carry a unique ancestry within you – Māori, Pasifika, South African, Scottish, and Irish. 

We want you to be proud of who you are and where you come from. Already, we see your pride and enthusiasm for your Māori heritage. You’re so eager whenever we say “haka” or prepare for karakia. It makes our hearts so full to witness your connection to your whakapapa and your tupuna.

Every parent dreams of a better world for their child. For Daddy Rāwā, that means breaking cycles of intergenerational trauma and creating a home filled with love, safety, and peace. We are learning as we go and embracing our role as your parents with all our hearts.

Pāpā Frankie, as a transgender man, brings a unique perspective to our family’s understanding of gender and identity. When you were born, some wondered if we would raise you in a gender-neutral way. While that’s a meaningful choice for many, we felt it was important for you to have an identity to start with – one you can build on as you grow. 

If one day, you choose to use different pronouns or a new name, we will honour that journey with love and acceptance. Your path is yours to define, and we will always support you in discovering who you are.

Right now, you are a large, joyful, and affectionate boy! You always come in for a kiss and a cuddle, sharing love with those around you. 

To honour your Māori heritage, we have embraced the wisdom of Tūpuna parenting – following the ways of our ancestors, who saw children as precious taonga, born with mana and prestige. Fathers played central, nurturing roles in our culture, and your arrival has motivated us to dive deeper into te reo Māori, tikanga, and kawa, reconnecting with our roots.

Before colonisation, babies were cherished and treated with immense respect in te ao Māori, and parenting choices focused on enhancing mana and honouring each child’s unique spirit. 

Raising you has meant challenging some of the stereotypes around modern parenting and what it means to be a father. We’re committed to ensuring your upbringing is rooted in love, honour, and respect for your heritage.

As you grow older, you may sometimes feel different from other kids, as our family doesn’t look like others or follow the conventional mould. But we want you to know how much we love you, how deeply you were wanted, and how long we waited to bring you into this world. 

That’s part of why we chose to share our journey through the documentary – to show others that families come in all forms and that love is what truly binds us together.

Since sharing our story, we’ve heard from so many people who feel inspired to create their own families and who now believe that what we have is possible for them, too. Visibility and representation matter in ways that are hard to measure, but we know they hold incredible power. 

Ultimately, this documentary is our love letter to you – a lasting reminder of how much you are cherished and how deeply you have always been wanted.

With all our love,

Pāpā Frankie and Daddy Rāwā

Trans and Pregnant screens on TVNZ 1, Monday November 11